


As We Struggle

by butterflyslinky



Series: Gotham Fairytales [3]
Category: DCU
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/M, Kidnapping, Rumpelstiltskin AU, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 04:16:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17974328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflyslinky/pseuds/butterflyslinky
Summary: Roy Harper has made a lot of bad decisions in his life.Jade Nguyen might be the worst one of all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as a reaction to Heroes in Crisis. I wanted Roy to get a happy ending, and it spiraled.
> 
> Can be read separately from the rest of the fairytales series, an the continuity is a little bit weird.

Roy Harper could fill several long volumes with all of his bad decisions. At least fifty. In very small type. Type people would need magnifying glasses to read.

And at least half of those volumes would be filled with bad decisions that were entirely the fault of, or at least heavily influenced by one Jason Todd-Wayne.

“Come on, just one more!” Jason was slurring already, shaky on his stool but still conscious and not vomiting, so Roy figured he was probably fine.

“Yeah, yeah.” Roy waved at the bartender, who brought them another round with a slight shake of his head. “And when Big Brother comes after our heads for drinking too much again?”

“Dick can find his namesake and suck on it,” Jason muttered.

Roy shrugged and picked up the next shot of whiskey. “Just saying that having your ex come down on you like a sack of bricks only needs to happen once...six times in two months is a bit excessive.”

“You two were a thing for like, two weeks when you got curious,” Jason said. “That doesn’t count and you know it.”

“Isn’t he having a hard enough time babysitting Bruce?”

“Roy.” Jason put his hand on Roy’s shoulder, though whether it was a friendly gesture or to keep himself upright, Roy wasn’t sure. “Dick will be fine. I will be fine. We will all be fine.” He giggled slightly. “And since when are you the responsible one, anyway?”

“Since my best friend came back from Sataria with a thousand-yard stare and more scars than he deserves,” Roy said.

“Well, quit it,” Jason said. “I lived through that experience and now I’m going to enjoy myself.”

“Great,” Roy said. He knocked back the whiskey. “Want me to make a call and get us the good stuff as well?”

Jason laughed. “Now you’re talking.”

*

It turned out, as it so often did, that they were not fine.

Well, okay, they had never been fine. Both of them were broken bits of joy held together by alcohol and spite with the occasional dose of heroin thrown in. Fine had never been on the menu, even after they had both been adopted by billionaires.

But this particular type of not-fine was definitely Roy’s not-favorite as he went through what had become his nearly weekly Sunday morning routine of waking up on a bathroom floor with no memory of how he got there but the evidence of a night gone wrong all over the floor and someone pounding on his apartment door.

“Fuck off!” Roy groaned as he tried to haul himself up. The towel rack came off in his hands and he fell again.

“Roy, for God’s sake, open the door!” Dick sounded, as always, like he was oscillating between concerned and pissed off, and this morning pissed off was winning.

“It’s open,” Roy managed to call, and flinched as his head pounded. He glanced at the needles and vomit on the floor and had some idea of trying to hide them, or at least clean up a bit, but he knew it was futile.

He dragged himself up and leaned on the sink, trying to steady himself enough to walk. A wave of nausea quickly overtook him, just as Dick came in the door.

“Jesus Christ,” Dick muttered. He stepped carefully into the room and pulled Roy’s hair back, holding it out of his face for him. Roy didn’t know why he was bothering--it wasn’t like it was clean anyway.

Once Roy had managed to subside into dry heaving, Dick pulled him out of the bathroom. He glanced at the couch, where Jason was passed out, looking hardly better than Roy, and carefully set Roy down on the coffee table. “What was it?” Dick asked, sounding both resigned and upset.

“Whiskey,” Roy mumbled. “Maybe some tequila. And…”

“And the fucking heroin.” Dick sighed. “Did Jason take any?”

“Dick…”

“Did he?” Dick was glaring now. “Cause if you’ve gotten him hooked on it…”

“I haven’t done anything,” Roy snapped. “And if you must know, yes. His choice, not mine.”

Dick pursed his lips and found a clean spot on the floor to kneel and take Jason’s pulse. After a moment, he sighed again.

“I can’t take him home like this,” he muttered. “Bruce would throw a fit if he knew and he doesn’t need more stress in his life.”

“Oh, come on, Dick, he’s a grown adult…”

Dick whirled back on Roy. “This isn’t about him being an adult!” he shouted. “This is about him fucking up his life and body and going the same way as Selina! You may like the idea of a shallow early grave, but I don’t want that for him!”

Roy flinched. “Please stop shouting,” he muttered. “Jason’s going to be fine once he wakes up, I made sure he didn’t overdose.”

“You were just fucked up as he was, if not more,” Dick snapped. “And if you don’t want to be shouted at, you shouldn’t take my little brother out on your benders!”

“More like he took me on his.”

Dick growled. “I can’t do this,” he muttered. “Call me when you’re both sober so I can come collect him.”

“Ah, come on, Dicky, that’s not…”

“Roy, if I don’t leave right now I will hit you, and I don’t need that on my conscience.”

Roy groaned. “Could you at least make coffee first?” he begged.

Dick rolled his eyes. “You need water first,” he said. “And you’re grown adults.” With that, he stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

That at least woke Jason up. He jerked and groaned, rubbing his temple without sitting up. “What the fuck?” he muttered.

“Big Brother,” Roy said. “He’s pissed and says you can’t go home until you’re less fucked up.”

“Yeah, well, he’ll be waiting a long-ass time.” Jason sat up and immediately made a noise of disgust. “Jesus Christ, that was a long one last night.”

“You’re telling me,” Roy said. “At least you got the couch and not linoleum.”

“Only cause you were able to make it to the bathroom,” Jason said. “It’s times like this I miss Alfred.”

“Don’t say that,” Roy said. “Alfred deserves better than taking care of the likes of us.” He stood and went to the kitchen to start coffee.

*

Roy always swore it would be the last time. That he couldn’t do it anymore, that he would stop waking up on bathroom floors with Dick Grayson-Wayne shouting at him, that he would stop letting Jason enable his most destructive behaviors, that he would never touch another bottle or needle.

He never kept his promise, no matter who he gave it to. Which was how, after a miserable week at a miserable job with a miserable boss for a miserable paycheck, Roy found himself texting Jason to ask where they should meet that week and how fucked up they should plan to get.

 _book ur whole weekend,_ Jason answered. _fuckin trainwreck over here_

 _ollie cut me off,_ Roy texted back. _card been suspended_

 _d told him and b,_ Jason wrote. _don’t worry, got you bb._

Roy chuckled a bit as he headed home to change. If they were going to royally fuck up this weekend, at least he could look good.

He met Jason outside an hour later. “Surprised Bruce didn’t confiscate your fake ID,” Roy muttered as they headed down the street.

“He confiscated one of my fake IDs,” Jason said. “He hasn’t found all of them yet.”

“Also surprised he didn’t cut you off.”

Jason shrugged. “I know where he keeps the spare cards. He won’t even notice I borrowed one.”

“What, hasn’t he given you a job at his huge company?”

“Why would he, when I’m making such an illustrious career as a VA statistic?” Jason’s voice was slightly bitter. “And doesn’t Oliver also have a huge company you could get a better job at?”

“Yeah, right,” Roy said. “After he kicked me out? I’m shocked he only cuts me off for a week at a time.”

“That’s the thing about us charity cases, they always feel too guilty to make us really suffer.”

“True that.” They reached their usual dive and walked in. No one questioned them or even glanced their way. “Still, I should feel a little bit guilty.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “You need to relax, man. You’ve been wound too tight.”

“ _I’ve_ been wound too tight? We were pretty fucking relaxed last week until Sunday morning.”

“Yeah, and we need to keep you that way through Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Even if Dick shows up to kill our buzz.”

“And how do you plan to do that without getting me fired?”

“You need to get laid,” Jason declared.

It was only a mark of how used to Jason Roy was that he didn’t choke on his drink. “Is that a proposition? Because I tried it out with your brother and I’m really not into it.”

“You’re cute, but no. Even if I was attracted to you, dating my brother’s ex would be weird, adoptive or not.”

“That’s fair enough, but I haven’t had any prospects since Kory dumped me.”

Jason glanced around. “Ah, come on. There’s gotta be at least one girl in here you wouldn’t mind hooking up with. Even if I have to pay for the privilege.”

Roy rolled his eyes. “You’re a terrible enabler.”

“On the contrary, I’m a great enabler.”

“Fine, whatever,” Roy said. He looked around. All of the women in the place were either with a guy or huddled in groups with a distinct “do not fucking talk to us” vibe. “Yeah, I’m not spotting anyone who looks approachable.”

“The night is young,” Jason said. “Keep an eye on the door and let me know when to wingman for you.”

Roy sighed and settled in. He knew Jason wouldn’t let this go, so he might as well enjoy it.

*

An hour later, they struck gold. A beautiful woman, a bit older than Roy, dark-haired, dark-eyed, walked in, alone. Roy took his time looking over her, which was very easy to do with how tight her green dress was.

Jason noticed as well. They tried not to stare too obviously as the woman took a seat at the bar near them and ordered, brushing her hair back in a way Roy found tantalizing.

“She looks like a bad idea,” Jason whispered.

“So I shouldn’t?”

“No,” Jason said. “You totally should.” He smirked and waited a moment before he got up and sauntered over. Roy couldn’t hear what Jason was saying over the noise in the bar, but he did raise his glass when Jason pointed and the girl looked over at him.

A moment later, Jason was leading her over to their end of the bar. “Jade, this is Roy Harper, former professional archer and procurer of all fine goods. Roy, this is Jade Nguyen, martial arts champion and...possibly a small weapons dealer?”

“Collector,” Jade corrected. She smiled at Roy. “It’s nice to meet you. Jason was telling me you’re good at getting ahold of rare items.”

“This and that,” Roy said, feeling a bit wrong footed. “I mean, I know some people.”

Jason grinned. “This guy,” he said. “Can turn shit into gold if you want.”

“Is that so?” Jade’s eyes glittered. “Well, I’m sure I could find a use for you.” She ran her fingers over Roy’s arm. “Such a strong man as well.”

Roy half-glared at Jason over her shoulder. Jason didn’t seem to care much.

“So, um,” Roy said. “Could I buy you a drink?”

“And after?” Jade asked.

“We’ll worry about after.”

*

Roy stumbled into his apartment. His mind was in a haze, partly induced by the alcohol and partly induced by Jade, who was clinging to his neck and very determinedly kissing him. Not that he was doing much better--he barely got the door open before their mouths were locked again.

They stumbled to the couch in a flurry of mouths touching and clothes coming off. Roy barely had the presence of mind to reach for the condom box before Jade was on him, pushing him down on his back and quickly taking control.

Roy wanted to blame the alcohol on how short the actual experience was, though Jade didn’t seem to mind much as she took control of his hands and mouth to reach her own end. Once satisfied, she collapsed on Roy’s chest, the narrow couch barely containing them both.

“Sorry,” Roy muttered.

“It’s okay, baby,” Jade murmured. “I know it’s been a while. And you do know how to treat a girl right anyway.”

“I like to think so,” Roy said.

Jade traced the lines of his chest idly. “So what your friend was saying...about you being able to turn shit into gold?”

“Metaphorically,” Roy said hastily.

“I figured metaphorically,” Jade said. “But I do wonder...I know we just met, but I could use some help.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm.” Jade kissed one of his pecs briefly. “I’ve got an eye on something for my collection, but it’s really hard to get ahold of...I wonder if you might help?”

“Sure,” Roy said. “I mean, I’ll do my best.”

“It’s a gold knife,” Jade said. She leaned over and found her purse to dig out her phone and showed Roy a picture.

“Very pretty,” Roy said. He took the phone and looked at the price. “And very expensive.”

“Yeah,” Jade said. “But you’re good at this, aren’t you?”

Two years ago, it wouldn’t have been a problem. Two years ago, Roy had it all--good career, rich foster father, the world in his hands. Two years ago, Roy could have bought Jade ten gold knives and never noticed the difference.

Now, though…

Jade was still stroking and kissing his chest and the blood was rushing from Roy’s head again. Which was probably why he answered, “No problem, babe.”

She gave him a wide grin and kissed lower.


	2. Chapter 2

“You told her it wouldn’t be a problem?”

Roy nodded, feeling a bit panicked in the light of day. “Girl’s a wildcat. I wasn’t going to say no.”

Jason looked rather amused. “Well, at least it worked...so what are you going to do?”

“Don’t know what I can do,” Roy said. “Except dig through Ebay, Craigslist and every pawn shop in Gotham to find something affordable.”

“How long do you have before you see her again?”

“I don’t know, a few days? I told her I’d have to shop around a bit.” Roy took another sip of coffee. “Don’t suppose…”

“I don’t have $25,000,” Jason said. “And Bruce would notice that much missing.”

“And I can’t call Oliver and ask for that much money to spend on a hookup.”

“Well, you can,” Jason said. “But he won’t be very impressed.”

“He’s already unimpressed.”

“Yeah.”

“One thing’s certain, I should probably stay sober until this is done. Otherwise I’ll have overdraft fees for years.”

“Isn’t your rent due this week anyway?”

“That too.” Roy groaned. “Definitely the dumbest thing I’ve ever done for pussy.”

“So what are you going to do?”

There was a soft cough behind him. Roy turned around to see a small man in a bowler hat also turned toward them.

“Excuse me,” the man said. “But I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation.”

“Sorry,” Roy said. “We’ll be quieter.”

“Oh, no need.” The little man dragged his chair around to their table and perched on the back of it. “I may be able to help. You see, I am what you may call an entrepreneur, and I have a lot of...interesting items.” He gestured at Roy’s phone with the picture. “May I?”

Roy handed it over and the little man looked at it. “Hmm...quite a pricey item. For your young lady?”

“Wouldn’t call her mine,” Roy mumbled. “But yeah.”

“Yes, we all do ridiculous things for pretty women,” the little man said. He returned the phone. “Well, I believe I have one of those, and I’d be willing to part with it.”

“For how much?” Roy asked. “Cause I’m kind of broke.”

“Well, perhaps you have something to trade.” The little man pulled a card out of his jacket. “Here’s my shop...just pop by whenever you’re ready.” With that, the little man hopped down off the chair and darted out the door.

Roy looked down at the card. “Fifth Dimension Antiques,” he read off. “That sounds legit.”

Jason snorted. “He’s doing business in Gotham. Probably not.”

“Still…” Roy looked at the card. “Could be worth a look.”

“And what are you going to trade him?” Jason asked. “The only things you own that are worth anything are your bow and medals and you can’t trade those.”

“Can’t I?” Roy asked.

“Roy, if you were going to sell those, you’d have done it years ago, and no matter how great a lay Jade is, she’s not worth all this trouble. You’ve known the girl less than twenty-four hours and you’re considering this?”

“You’re the one who told her I could do this!”

“I was drunk and being a good wingman. And it worked!”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “And I’d like it to keep working.”

*

Roy wanted to think that his heart was heavy when he pulled the bow case out of his closet, but it really wasn’t. He opened the case and stared at the last remnant of his lost dreams, feeling…

Well, a lot of things. Regret, definitely. A bit of sadness, maybe.

How had it all gone so wrong?

He honestly didn’t have an answer. He’d been on track, the orphan picked off the streets by a billionaire who took interest in his skills. Raised by Oliver Queen, one of the best archers to ever grace an Olympic team, who eagerly passed his knowledge and training on to his young ward. Championships, gold medals, recruiters for the US team practically pounding down his door and begging him to join up…

And then one shot at a party. One brief high and Roy had found something that felt better than archery. Something that didn’t come with pressure or expectation or anything but the feeling of ecstasy.

Heroin was easy enough to come by for someone of Roy’s income. At first, it was only a few times a month, when things got too stressful. Then it was every week, then twice a week, and then…

Then the drug tests were sprung on him and it all came crashing down around him. His teams and recruiters dropped him like a hot rock, his income was gone, and Oliver had thrown him out, saying he wouldn’t have an addict under his roof. Roy had been angry at first, but now…

Now, he didn’t need the bow. His archery career was over, and it was just gathering dust and reminding him of how big a fuck up he was.

Roy ran his hand over it one last time before he resolutely closed the case and headed out.

*

Fifth Dimension Antiques was about what Roy had expected. Old, decrepit, in an out-of-the-way alley at the edge of Gotham. Roy had a brief moment of doubt before he took a breath and opened the door. A bell rang faintly, displacing a bit of dust.

For all that it claimed to be an antique shop, it really looked more like a pawn shop or flea market. Objects of all sorts lay on the shelves gathering dusty. Furniture stood all over the floor, making a very uneven path to wind through to the counter. Jewels were locked in cabinets, toys were scattered about, the walls were covered in bookshelves, an even a few old clothes hung on rusted racks waiting to be claimed and washed. Roy wound his way to the back, trying to see what he was looking for.

The strange little man from the cafe was sitting on top of the counter with a paper in hand. He looked up as Roy approached and grinned. “Ah! Here’s our love-struck young man! And what have you brought to trade?”

Roy set the bow case on the counter next to the little man and opened it. “Professional quality,” he said. “Might need a new string, but it’s been untouched for over a year.”

The little man examined it. “Yes...yes, that seems equitable.” He hopped down off the counter and hurried to the back. A moment later, he reappeared with the very knife Jade had asked for. “Here you are.”

Roy took it and examined it. Pristine condition, perfectly shined and balanced. “Thank you,” he said. He took one last glance at his bow before he turned and left the shop.

Back home, in his shitty apartment, Roy sat on his couch and stared at the knife. Was it worth it? Sure, price-tag wise, the knife was more valuable than the bow, but...well. No use dwelling. He’d made his choice; the bow was the past.

Jade was his future.

*

Friday night came soon enough, and Jade with it. She showed up at Roy’s apartment like they had made plans, and Roy...let her in.

She was ecstatic when he handed her the knife.

“You really can get anything, can’t you?” she asked in excitement as she examined it.

“Well, you know,” Roy said. “Just a matter of knowing where to look.”

Jade laughed and kissed him thoroughly. “Well, I do have a few tricks myself.” She produced a small box and held it out.

Roy opened it and grinned when the saw the bottle and needles. “That good shit?”

“Of course.” She sat down on the couch. “Do you need a drink first?”

“Nah,” Roy said. He took out the bottle and prepared a dose. “I’ve got my drug of choice and a beautiful woman on my couch. Why would I need alcohol too?”

Jade shrugged. “Just asking.” She took the bottle from Roy as soon as he was done and got her own dosage ready. “Think we can make it to the bed this time?”

“We’ll do our best.” Roy pressed the needle into his arm.

*

They did make it to the bed that night, and didn’t leave it again until late the next morning. By then, Roy’s high was starting to fade, leaving him, as always, sagging and miserable.

Jade didn’t seem to be much better as she shuffled into the kitchen and grabbed Roy’s coffee cup off the table. She chugged it all at once before she gagged. “What is this?” she asked.

“Coffee,” Roy said.

“It tastes like shit.”

“Yeah, well, we don’t brew the fancy stuff here, princess,” he said. “You want a frappuccino, you go to Starbucks.”

Jade rolled her eyes and poured another cup. “Whatever,” she muttered. “Milk?”

“Might still be good,” Roy said. “You can check it.”

Jade pulled it out and opened it. Almost at once, she dropped the gallon and turned to the sink, retching. Roy groaned at the spoiled milk across the floor and the vomit in his sink.

She finally looked up, not so beautiful in the light of day after emptying her stomach into the sink. “You don’t adult well, do you?”

“Haven’t been shopping,” Roy said. “You gonna mop that up?”

She gave him a disgusted look and turned, grabbing her shoes and purse. “You’re the one who can’t throw shit out.”

“It’s my fucking kitchen!”

“Yeah, whatever,” she said. “You’re not a good enough lay to put up with this.” With that, she took her things and stormed out.

Roy groaned again and went to find the mop and bleach.

*

“So was it worth it?”

Roy shrugged. “The sex was okay...the drugs were better. Then she threw up in my sink and walked out on me.”

“Well, shit,” Jason said. “That sounds like a rough night.”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “It was. But, you know...that’s life.”

“Yeah,” Jason said. “Wanna do it again?”

“What, get high, fuck, have a fallout the next day? No thanks.”

“I’m sure it’s the last you’ll hear of her,” Jason said. “Sorry, dude.”

Roy shrugged. “Eh, it makes a good story.”

*

To Roy’s shock, there was a knock on his door two weeks later. He opened it blearily, exhausted after his workday, and found Jade on the other side, with a garbage bag in each hand.

“I’m sorry,” she said before Roy could even ask what she was doing there. “I just got evicted and I need a place to stay and I’ve got nowhere to go and…”

Roy sighed. Upon reflection, he could have handled the situation before better--been more sympathetic, bought Jade coffee, something. The last two weeks had seen him mostly sober and miserable and definitely missing a high and a warm body.

She must have read some of his thoughts. “I’m sorry,” she purred. “I’ll make up for it, I promise.”

Roy knew he shouldn’t. He knew he should shut the door on her and forget it. He knew that her promises would be as empty as his own.

“Okay,” Roy said. “You can stay.”


	3. Chapter 3

Roy knew that two nights of drug-fueled sex was not a great foundation for a live-in relationship, but he also knew that Jade was better off staying with him than on the street.

It actually wasn’t too bad at first. Roy did his shitty job every day, and Jade stayed at home. Roy didn’t ask what she did during the day, and she didn’t offer up any information. But she did at least order dinner by the time Roy got home, so he didn’t have to worry about it.

Friday rolled around as always, and when Roy got home, Jade was already two thirds of the way through a bottle of vodka, with a needle on the table next to her.

“You started early,” Roy commented.

She shrugged. “Life sucks,” she said. “Might as well live with that.”

“True.” Roy picked up the needle, which was already full. “God, you’re amazing,” he muttered as he pressed it into his arm.

Jade smiled. “Thanks,” she said.

Roy slumped back on the couch, ignoring his phone buzzing in his pocket. The high was hitting, taking him away, down into that place the heroin always got him too. Jade was crawling in his lap, kissing him, and he was going down with her.

*

The next week passed much the same way, and the week after that. Roy and Jade didn’t really talk much, though they did fuck a lot. Roy was starting to notice his bills rising, but every time he opened his mouth to bring it up, Jade distracted him either with a kiss or a needle and Roy would forget about it.

He barely looked at his phone for the entire three weeks. He was still doing his job, still going through the motions of life, but Jade took up every other moment. Roy didn’t care. She was hot, she had connections, and she didn’t ask stupid questions about how he was feeling or anything like that. It wasn’t until his phone buzzed twelve times in ten minutes very early in the morning that Roy condescended to pick it up.

“Yeah?” he grunted, his high making his voice slurred and unnatural.

“Dude, where are you?” Jason sounded about as worried as Jason ever did. “I haven’t seen you in three weeks and you haven’t answered my texts!”

“I’m at home,” Roy said.

“At home? Doing what?”

“What are you, a cop?”

“No, just miss hanging out! Not fun drinking alone.”

“Sorry.”

“Roy?” Jade rolled over. “What’s the matter, baby?”

There was a pause on the other end of the line. “Oh,” Jason said. “Patched up?”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “Jade’s living here now.”

“What happened to bros before hoes?”

Roy snorted. “Look, next week, okay? We’ll have a great weekend, all three of us.”

“Sure, dude,” Jason said. “Whatever.” He abruptly hung up.

“What was that about?” Jade asked as Roy set the phone aside.

“Jason,” Roy said. “Concerned that I haven’t been hanging around with him lately.” He rolled over to kiss Jade good morning. “Put him off.”

“Good.” She wound her arms around him. “Want you all to myself today.”

“Good thing it’s still Sunday.” Roy kisses Jade again, chasing a high he had a nagging feeling was starting to slip away.

*

Jason was definitely not impressed when Roy and Jade stumbled into the bar the next Friday. Both were already slightly tipsy and more than a little bit high, though still functional in Roy’s professional opinion.

“Started without me, huh?” Jason said.

“Ah, don’t be like that, Jay,” Roy said. “Just a pregame to take the edge off.”

“Surprised you have any edges left.”

Jade giggled a bit more than necessary at that. “I’ve tried to smooth him out,” she said.

“Was about to say the opposite,” Jason said. “Dick’s worried, by the way.”

“Why?” Roy said. “Did I forget to put in my weekly call? Let Mother know that I’m washing behind my ears?”

“Yeah, I know,” Jason said. “But I think he was used to getting updates from me every week that you’re still alive. You go AWOL and he’s ready to call the cops.”

“Tell Dick to mind his own damn business,” Roy muttered, waving down the bartender to order.

“I did,” Jason said. “But call him sometime so he can report to the grown-ups at least.”

“Whatever,” Roy said.

“And how’s he been keeping you?” Jason asked Jade.

She giggled again and the sound starting to grate on Roy’s nerves. “Keeps me well,” she said. “Nice and domestic. It’s fun.”

“Sounds like,” Jason said.

Roy had never been awkward with Jason, shouldn’t have been, but now he was. He just wanted to go home and get high in peace, maybe with Jade in his bed to help, but he was stuck here, trying to bullshit with both of them and it just...didn’t fit. Something was wrong.

Still, he got through most of the evening all right, listening to Jason and Jade talk and acting like he was just tired. It wasn’t until Jade had gotten up to go to the bathroom that Jason leaned across to Roy.

“Dude, what is up with you tonight?”

Roy shrugged and knocked back his beer. “Just not feeling it, I guess,” he said.

“You’re always feeling it. Is something wrong?”

“What would be wrong?” Roy asked. “I got a girl, and I’m keeping my head above water.”

“I don’t know,” Jason said. “But like I said, Dick’s worried...I’m worried.”

“I’m fine.”

Jason shrugged. “Sure, dude. Whatever.”

Jade returned to the table. “You wanna come back with us, Jason?” she asked. “Got some good shit back home.”

Jason grinned. “Sure, why not,” he said. “Just don’t try to rope me into a threesome with this loser.”

“Not gay if there’s a hot chick between you,” Jade teased.

“Too much history,” Roy murmured. “Even with you there.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Jason said. “There will be absolutely no shenanigans tonight.”

Jade giggled again.

*

“Roy! Roy!”

Roy groaned and opened his eyes. He was glad to find he was on the bed at least, though the floor next to him proved it had been a very bad night. He forced himself up, wincing at the pain in his head and body, and found a pair of pants.

He glanced back at the bed. Jade was breathing, at least, face drawn and pale. Jason was collapsed next to her, though his eyes were opening a bit.

“Lemme guess,” Jason muttered. “In spite of all protests, we did wind up in a threesome.”

“I’ll think about that when I’ve made Dick go away,” Roy said. He staggered to the door and had to lean on it the moment it opened.

Dick was glaring more than usual. “What the fuck?” he snapped.

“What the fuck what?” Roy snapped back.

“I got about sixteen different texts of various readability last night,” Dick said. “Most of them were from Jason, but a couple were from you...please tell me you didn’t do what I think you did.”

“I have no fucking clue,” Roy said. “Everything’s kind of a blur from eleven o’clock onward.”

“Where is he?”

“Putting himself together, I think,” Roy said.

“Roy?” Jade was stumbling into the room in her robe, black with a green dragon across it. It was short and dipped low and Roy normally loved it. “What is it?”

Dick raised an eyebrow. “I see,” he said. “Back to this, then?”

“Back to what? Kory was one time and you liked it.”

Dick growled. “Get him out here, now.”

Roy flipped him off and stumbled back to the bedroom. He was thankful Jason was at least clothed and standing. “Dick wants you to go home now,” Roy said. “Probably won’t see you next week.”

Jason shrugged. “We’ll figure it out,” he said. “Later.” He left the room. Roy tried to ignore the shouting until the door slammed and he flinched.

“Baby?” Jade called. “I got coffee ready.”

“Thanks,” Roy called. He pulled on an almost clean t-shirt and went to start his day.


	4. Chapter 4

Roy sighed, looking over the bills. Rent was due, the gas and electric bill were twice as high as before, and his job wasn’t paying any better than before.

He glanced at Jade, who was lying on the couch in her little dragon robe and nothing else, flicking through the TV channels idly. He then had to close his eyes because that robe was not covering anything.

“We need to talk,” he said.

Jade groaned. “Baby, please,” she said. She reached for another cigarette and lit it without a care. “I hate when we talk. You always get mean.”

“I’m not trying to be mean,” Roy said. “But I need you to either start contributing or find your own place.”

She exhaled heavily, smoke filling the space. “That’s what I mean,” she said. “You don’t want me here.”

“No, I do!” Roy said. “I like you, Jade, a lot, but I don’t have the money to keep supporting us both.”

She got up, taking another drag. “Don’t I help?” she asked, moving over to slide into Roy’s lap. “Take good care of you...be the good little housewife?” She kissed him, letting the smoke in her mouth pass between them.

Roy closed his eyes, trying to focus. “I do appreciate it,” he said. “But baby, I gotta take care of us too. And I can’t do that making ten dollars an hour to schlep boxes.”

“Can’t you get another job?”

“Where? There’s no better jobs in Gotham for guys like me.”

Jade sighed and pouted. “I don’t have anything, either,” she said. “You’ve at least got physical strength going for you.”

“I’m sure you could find something,” Roy said. “You’re smart, you can figure it out.”

Jade pushed off of him and walked back into the kitchen.

“Babe…”

“I know, Roy,” Jade said. She inhaled one more time and put out her cigarette. “I was just saving some money for myself...had my eye on an older edition of The Thousand and One Nights. Beautifully illustrated.”

“Very expensive?” Roy guessed.

“Yeah,” she said. “But I guess it’ll all go into rent money.” She sighed. “That’s how it goes for us, isn’t it? Nothing nice for ourselves...everything goes to survival.”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “I’m sorry.”

“Whatever,” Jade said. “I’ll put in half the rent until something comes up.”

“Thank you,” Roy said. He went over and kissed her. “Hey,” he said when she just looked at him. “I do want you here...things will get better, baby. Someday, you’ll have all the knives and books you want...everything you want.”

“Will I?” she asked.

He couldn’t answer her.

*

The next week, Jade had gone out. Roy went into his closet and pulled the second black case out of the back.

He opened it and looked inside. Nearly fifteen years of his life, devoted to these. Medals, trophies, almost all first place. He quickly rifled through and removed the ribbons and certificates; they weren’t worth anything but his pride. But the gold medals would earn a good price.

So much hard work had gone into them. So many hours of practice and training and dreaming, all gone now. Roy knew he only kept up his arm strength because of his job; if he was working in a less physical position, the drugs and alcohol would have taken that from him as well.

Small mercies, he supposed. Still, he reflected, maybe it wasn’t worth it. In twenty years, ten years, five years...hell, in one year Jade would probably be bored with him. What was he hoping to accomplish? Did he want to convince Jade to stay by means of material goods? Did he hope that getting her things she wanted would keep her soothed enough to pay the bills?

Did he even want her to stay? Aside from being a great lay and drug connection, Roy couldn’t say that Jade had done anything good for him. She was certainly wrecking his social life, though that wasn’t a huge loss. Then again...she did give Roy the same thing the heroin did. She did let him feel something.

Well. That was it. No use dwelling. Roy shut the case and headed out.

*

The bell over the door of Fifth Dimension Antique clanged as Roy entered. There was no answer, so he just wandered through, looking at the wares--most of them hadn’t changed since the last time he’d been in, but there were a few new things. He made his way to the wall of books and started carefully looking through them.

There. The very book Jade wanted, right in front of him. Roy picked it up and examined it carefully, making sure there was no damage. It was in beautiful condition, almost new, so he headed up to the counter.

The little man was sitting on it with his paper, and he glanced up as Roy approached. “Back again?” he said.

“Yeah,” Roy said. “She asked for this...hope these will cover it.” He set the case down on the counter and opened it.

The little man examined the medals carefully. “An impressive career,” he said. “And worth the price of scrap, anyway. I’d call the trade equitable.”

“Thanks,” Roy said.

“Do come back,” the little man called.

“Sure,” Roy called back, and left the shop.

*

“Hey,” Roy said as he entered the apartment.

Jade glanced up in a cloud of smoke. “Yeah?”

He grinned and handed her the book. “That what you wanted?”

She stared a moment before she vaulted over the couch and onto Roy, kissing him soundly. “Oh, darling…”

He clutched her close. “There you go...no need to dip into savings for it.”

“Yeah,” she said. “Thank you, baby.” She let go of him and reached over for a little box on the table. “Here...got the next grade.”

He took it and filled the needle. “Thank fuck,” he muttered as he pressed it in.

*

Roy wanted to say it was easier with Jade paying at least some of the bills, but it wasn’t. She wasn’t paying a full half, though Roy supposed he could count the heroin as part of her rent.

And she got very good heroin. Roy was starting to lose track of time; it didn’t matter when he had her. All that mattered was the high.

He hadn’t heard from Jason, only really left his apartment to work. Even his job was going in one ear and out the other. The most Roy could say was that he showed up mostly sober, and even that was becoming rather difficult.

What was even the point, he wondered. What was the point of continuing to do his job and be miserable, when he could just stay home with Jade and be...well, maybe not happy, but at least superficially satisfied? What was the point in continuing to live a hazy, miserable life when he could just...float away?

Jade didn’t even notice, or at least acted like she didn’t. She just kept plying him with drugs and sex and alcohol, keeping him hazed and quiet. They had no problems, at least none that Roy remembered most of the time. They had each other, and their needles, and a place to live for now...what else could they need?

And then…

Then it was a particularly wild weekend, the two of them and a bottle of tequila and more heroin than anyone needed. Jade jumped Roy about an hour in, and they went down on the floor. The sex was hard, exhausting, and Roy was in heaven, high and in love…

He didn’t know how long it went on, only that he woke to an alarm blaring and his head pounding. He glanced at the clock and swore.

“Baby?” Jade rolled over. “What is it?”

“About eleven,” Roy said. “And I was supposed to be in three hours ago.” He scrambled out of bed and dove for his phone. Seven missed calls. He swore again and hit the voicemail.

_“Harper, where are you? You’re ten minutes late and this is your third warning!”_

_“Harper, I swear to God, I will write you up for this!”_

_“Harper, get your ass in here now…”_

Roy grew more and more desperate as the messages went on. And then the last one.

_“Know what, don’t bother. You’re fired. Check will be mailed. Don’t try to come in and explain shit.”_

Roy hit the end button, numb. He should have known better, should have tried harder, should have…

Should have…

He threw the phone on the bed and scrambled back to the living room.

“Roy?” Jade sounded mildly concerned, but Roy didn’t care. He found the box and filled a needle.

The job didn’t matter. His life didn’t matter. He just needed to stop feeling like such a worthless fuckup.

*

Jason called two days later. “Dude, where are you?”

“Where I should be,” Roy said. “Why, you want a round two?”

“I want my best friend back,” Jason said. “But sure, since you aren’t interested in much else these days.”

Roy glanced at Jade, who was passed out on the couch, her robe undone and her hair in her face. “Not doing anything right now,” Roy said. “Wanna meet at the old spot? Just us?”

“Yeah,” Jason said. “I’d like that. Bring whatever you’re using, I think I need it.”

“Sure thing.” Roy hung up and picked up the heroin box. He glanced at Jade again and turned her on her side before he grabbed his keys and slipped out of the apartment.

He met Jason half an hour later behind their usual bar. Jason had just lit a cigarette, eyes closed, but he did look up as Roy approached. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Roy said. He pulled out his own cigarette and lit it. “What’s up?”

“Bruce is being an asshole,” Jason said. “And Dick’s not much better.”

“Assholes how?”

“You know...trying to make me talk about shit. Being all over-concerned and telling me I need to stop drinking and shit.” He huffed a bit, sending smoke high in the air. “I don’t need to talk...I need to forget.”

“Dude, same,” Roy said. “Got fucking fired this week.”

Jason groaned. “Sucks, man.”

“Yeah.” Roy took another drag and put the cigarette out. “Anyway...brought it.” He took out the box and passed it to Jason.

“My hero,” Jason muttered, taking it. He opened it and filled a needle before passing it back. “Think we can just OD and be done with it?”

“I wish,” Roy said. “Maybe we should...just end this here, let Bruce and Oliver cry over us and pretend it wasn’t their fault.”

Jason snorted. “Bruce will blame himself forever,” he said. “And serves him right.” He pressed the needle into his arm.

Roy laughed a bit and started to press his own in…

“HEY!”

Roy swore, dropping the needle. “Goddammit,” he muttered, spotting the police officer dashing down the alley.

Jason groaned. “Think we can run?”

“What’s the fucking point?” Roy muttered.

“ON THE GROUND!” The officer had drawn his gun. Roy and Jason both dropped immediately, hands up. Roy made no move as were cuffed and read their rights.

“What the fuck,” he muttered. “This might as well be happening.”


	5. Chapter 5

Holding cells were not the most comfortable thing in the world, but Roy did manage to fall asleep at some point, dropped on Jason’s shoulder.

It was probably the best night’s sleep he’d gotten in a while, even if it did end rather abruptly with a bang. It was a mark of how bad things had gotten that Roy was used to that.

If Dick looked angry on most Sundays, he looked downright homicidal as he followed the booking officer down. Roy sighed, wondering how much grovelling he’d be forced to do.

“Come to bail us out?” Jason asked blearily.

“Come to bail you out,” Dick said. “Only because Bruce wants to yell at you. I’d be perfectly happy letting you rot until your court date in three weeks.” He glared at Roy.

“What’d I do?” Roy asked.

“Seriously?!”

“Come on, Dicky, you know I wouldn’t hurt him on purpose.”

“Roy Harper, if there wasn’t a wall of bars and a police officer between us, I would punch you.”

“Whatever,” Roy said. “Can we just skip to the part where we say sorry and you take us home?”

“I’m not taking you anywhere,” Dick said. “You can find your own way out of this mess.”

“At least call Ollie for me?”

“I already did,” Dick said. “And he said you can wait.” He nodded and the officer unlocked the door. “Come on, Jason...I don’t want you hanging around him anymore.”

“You’re not my dad, Dick!” Jason shouted. “You don’t get to tell me who I can see!”

“I can when they’re getting you in this much trouble!” Dick snapped back. “And Bruce will say the same thing!” He glared at Roy again. “Stay away from us.”

“Fine,” Roy said. “I don’t need you, Dick. I never did...you just wanted me to make yourself feel better.”

“Gentlemen,” the officer said warningly.

Jason groaned and stood up, shuffling out of the cell. Roy sighed and slumped back on the bench. What was he going to do? Jade couldn’t bail him out, Oliver wouldn’t bail him out, and his only friend in the world was walking away from him.

He supposed that he would just have to wait, but waiting wasn’t something Roy had ever been very good at. He scrubbed his hands over his eyes, wishing he could go back to sleep, but the worry twisting in his gut was making that difficult.

Eventually, he did manage a light doze, in spite of all the comings and goings around him. Whatever came next, he was sunk. He had no money, no job, and he was probably going to jail for a while once the trial was over. He couldn’t even chase the high he’d been on for the last...however long it had been. He didn’t even care anymore.

He was woken a second time by the officer unlocking the cell. Roy was puzzled--who could have possibly heard he was in trouble?

“You’ve been bailed,” the officer said.

“Thanks,” Roy said, confused. He stood up and then he spotted the little man from the antiques shop. “How…?”

“Saw you come up on the morning crime report,” the little man said, leading Roy back out. He walked with a little bounce in his step, his bowler hat more ridiculous than ever in the grey sterile setting. “And I thought, why is a nice young man like that stuck in prison? That just won’t do! So I came down to sort things out.”

“You don’t even know me,” Roy said.

“I know that you have a young lady you love very much,” the little man said. “And that you deserve better. So be a good boy and make your court date, you hear?”

“Yes,” Roy said. “Thank you...I...I can’t really repay you. I’ve already traded what I had.”

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll work it out one day,” the little man said. “Perhaps your first-born child will suffice.” He laughed.

Roy laughed as well. “Yeah, sure,” he said. “That’s what I need, a fucking baby.”

The little man took him outside. “Here’s where I leave you,” he said. “Try to stay out of trouble.”

Roy nodded and headed for home.

*

Jade stood up the moment Roy walked in the door, looking frantic. Roy gave her a small smile as he put his keys down. “Relax,” he said. “I made bail.” He went to the fridge and pulled out his last bottle of beer, wondering where he was going to get grocery money.

“Obviously,” Jade said. “That’s not it.”

“What?” Roy said.

“Roy…” Jade bit her lip. “Roy, I’m pregnant.”

Roy choked on his beer. “What?!”

“I’m pregnant,” Jade said. “Confirmed it this morning.”

He stared at her for a long moment before he collapsed at the table, head in his hands.

“I’m sorry, baby,” she said.

“What are we going to do?” he asked.

“I don’t know.”

“I have to be in court in three weeks,” Roy said. “I don’t have a lawyer...I’ll probably get several years in prison, plus fines and whatever other bullshit they want to pile on me. I can’t help you.”

“I know.” Jade swallowed. “I don’t know what to do.”

Roy sighed. “Maybe we can just…”

“Yeah.”

They were silent for a long time before Roy knocked back the rest of the beer. “I guess we should…”

“Yeah...I got rid of it this morning. All of it.”

Roy nodded. “Good...I never want to see it again.”

“Me neither.”

Roy swallowed and laid his head on the table. Jade sat down next to him and laid her hand on his shoulder.

And then he broke, shaking and crying and lost as the world shattered around him.

*

The next seven days were among the worst either of them had ever experienced.

Shaking, sweating, almost constant vomiting for both of them, and then collapsing for hours at a time to ride out the worst of it. There were a few moments when at least one of them would be lucid enough to help the other, but not many of them.

Roy was starting to think they may not have to make a decision at all, the way Jade was reacting to the withdrawals.

But finally, after a full week sober, the worst seemed to be over. Roy woke up feeling...slightly more human, anyway. He looked at Jade, who was clinging to him in her sleep, and realized they had made it. They were...well...not okay, but no longer dying.

She stirred feebly. “Ugh,” she muttered.

“We’re okay,” Roy said. “We survived.”

She nodded against his chest. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“Did the baby…?”

“I think it made it too.” She put her hand on her stomach. “I think...we all survived.”

Roy closed his eyes. “It’s a fucking miracle,” he said. “Jade...whatever happens next...I’m going to get better. I promise.”

“Really?” she said.

“Really really,” Roy said.

And this time, he really, really meant it.

*

They hadn’t figured it out two weeks later when Roy was due in court. The best solution they could come up with was to wait and see what the sentence was before making any further decisions.

Roy knew they couldn’t have a baby. They were both fucked up beyond belief, broke, unemployed, with nothing to offer. It would just be stupid to have a baby.

But part of him couldn’t help but think about it. Couldn’t stop coming up with baby names and color schemes and all those stupid schmoopy things people did when they had babies.

All those stupid schmoopy things that would go away once he was sentenced. He had already entered a guilty plea, no trial necessary. No use fighting. No use trying to get out of it.

“Harper.”

Roy got up and stood in the dock, breathing shallowly.

The judge glanced over the case file and sighed. “First offense, young man?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Minimal possession charge. I could send you to jail, but I don’t think that would do anyone much good.”

Roy’s breath quickened. “No, sir.”

The judge looked over the file again. “I’m going to let you off easy this time...five thousand dollars, and mandatory rehabilitation. There’s a center in Bludhaven where you will spend the next month in counselling. Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir.” Roy thought he was going to cry again. Only a month in rehab...the fine would be difficult, but he’d figure it out. He could go home after, put his life together, take care of Jade…

His brain stopped. Jade. The baby. He would need a job, some way to support them all, a bigger apartment…

Well, he could worry about that later. Right now, he needed to start with step one.

Admitting he had a fucking problem.

*

“My name is Roy.”

“Hi, Roy.”

Roy swallowed. “I’ve been an addict for almost six years...ever since I was seventeen. I think it was the pressure that made me do it...not the pressure to try heroin, but the pressure to be the best.” He took a breath. “I used to be an archery champion. And I was great, but...everyone expected me to win, all the time. And it just stressed me out so much...but I couldn’t quit because my guardian was so proud...I only ever wanted to make him proud of me.” Roy closed his eyes to stop the tears. “But it was too much for anyone...let alone a kid...so when someone offered me something...I thought, it couldn’t be worse than that. But it was...it was so much worse than anything I’d ever been through.”

*

Fifty days. Fifty days sober, thirty of them in rehab, and Roy felt…

He wanted to say he felt better. And physically, he did. But now that he was leaving the center, now that he had to go back out in the world, he was starting to panic again. Sure, he would still see a counselor and all that jazz, but he had no idea what he was going to do.

Which was how Roy found himself buying a bus ticket to Star City instead of home.

It still looked the same, five years later. Same shops, same office buildings, same little houses…

Same mansion. Roy gazed up at it from the driveway, wondering if he should have called ahead. Then again, if he had, Oliver probably would have told him to fuck off.

He walked up, trying to be casual. Hesitated a moment before he opened the door without ringing the bell--it was still at least sort of his home, wasn’t it? Sure, Oliver had kicked him out, but...he hadn’t told Roy not to come back.

It looked as it always had, a bit too polished and bright, like it was just for show. Roy breathed in the scent of his childhood as he headed up the stairs. Oliver should be in his office. Maybe he would condescend to talk to Roy at least.

Roy swallowed when he reached the office door. It was partially open, but he knocked anyway in warning.

“Come in.”

Roy took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Oliver looked surprised to see him. “Roy?”

“...hey,” Roy said. “I...I need help.”

Oliver looked torn, his duty as Roy’s adoptive father battling with his disapproval of Roy’s lifestyle. “With?”

“I...I’m sober,” Roy said. “If that helps...I’ve been clean for almost two months. And...I want to stay that way. I want to get better.”

There was silence for a moment before Oliver sighed. “What happened?”

“I got a girlfriend,” Roy said. “And she’s pregnant. We survived withdrawal together...but I need...I need to take care of them. And I lost my job so…”

“So you want me to hand you one?” Oliver was looking slightly angry now. “You want me to just put it all aside and use nepotism to take care of you?”

“I don’t want it,” Roy said. “I want to stand on my own, but I can’t! I’m doing everything I can but I can’t do it by myself...Dick’s gone too, I can’t...I have nothing! I am nothing...without you, I was always nothing!” The tears were spilling out now, hot and angry and Roy didn’t try to hide them. “You promised to take care of me,” he said, sounding like a child. “You promised we’d be a family forever...what happened to that?”

Oliver sighed again. “Roy…”

“Never mind,” Roy said. “You don’t care...you wanted me as long as I was a good kid...as long as I made you look good. As soon as I needed you, you were gone...I should have known better than to ask.” He turned to go.

“I do have starting positions open.”

Roy glanced back. Oliver was watching him, still frowning but less angry.

“You’d have to come back to Star City,” he said. “And you’d have to find your own place. But I do need secretarial staff...fifteen dollars an hour, full time, with benefits...for you and your dependants.”

Roy stared. “You mean it?”

“I do,” Oliver said. “If I didn’t have openings, I wouldn’t offer, but we’re expanding and the temps are moving on.”

“Thank you,” Roy breathed. “Ollie…”

“You will be drug tested,” Oliver continued. “Whenever I want. And if there’s ever anything stronger than an aspirin in your system, you’re out. If you’re ever late or absent without calling me with a doctor’s note, you’re out. If you don’t do your absolute best work…”

“I’m out,” Roy finished.

“Yes. No write-ups, no warnings, no second chances. If you do that for a year, I’ll see about loosening up, but until then…”

“No, it’s fine,” Roy said. “Thank you...I know I don’t deserve it.”

“You’re right,” Oliver said. “But your kid does...and I did make a promise.” He stood and walked over and to Roy’s immense shock, Oliver wrapped him in his arms. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry I didn’t help you sooner.”

Roy clung to Oliver, crying but finally feeling somewhat safe.

*

Jade was awake and moving when Roy finally walked back in the door. She was dressed, her makeup was on, and she looked...beautiful. So beautiful Roy could hardly stand it.

She smiled at him as he came in. “And there he is,” she cooed softly. “A white boy from an affluent background who got a slap on the wrist and can come back to us.”

Roy smiled back and went to kiss her. “Better,” he said. “I have a job.”

She cried out in delight and wrapped her arms around him. “A job?”

“At Star Labs,” Roy said. “So...we’ll have to go back to Star City, but...we can start over. Build a life there, for us, for the baby…”

Jade’s face fell a bit. “Oh…” she said.

“I know,” Roy said. “But...it’s what I can get. Oliver Queen...he’s a tough old bastard, but he does care about me.”

“I just...I don’t want to leave Gotham,” she said.

“I don’t either,” Roy said. “But Star City is cheaper...more opportunity...it’s a second chance for us.”

Jade was quiet for a long moment, chewing on her lip. Finally, she looked up. “I...I don’t think I’m ready to be a mom,” she admitted. “There’s a lot more in my past than yours, and...I can’t put that on someone else.”

Roy’s stomach dropped. “Oh.”

“But...you already love it,” she continued. “You’re doing what you can...maybe...maybe we can make it work.”

“I’m not...we don’t need to get married or anything,” Roy said. “And if you want to make a different choice, I’ll...I’ll live with that. Either way, I’m going straight...I’m done with it all. Heroin, Gotham...no more.”

“I know,” Jade said. “I know, Roy.” She sighed. “I’ll come with you,” she said. “And we’ll see how it goes. And if...if things don’t work out…”

“I’ll take care of our kid,” Roy said. “Whatever else happens, I promise to take care of it.”

“Okay,” Jade said. “Okay.”


	6. Chapter 6

It did work. For a while.

Star City was better than Gotham, in that there wasn’t quite as much smog. The new job was easier than the old one, mostly filing paperwork. Roy found a decent enough apartment, which Oliver even agreed to sign as the guarantor on, so he moved Jade within the week.

Everything was...well, not perfect, but good enough. Jade seemed to be settling into the idea of motherhood, at least a little bit. Roy did feel a bit guilty, wondering if he was trapping her in it, but he had to put that aside quickly. At this point, a baby was coming, no matter how ready they were.

But Roy made sure to be ready, the tiny second bedroom in their apartment slowly being fitted as a nursery on the weekend, mint green walls and a nice soft crib, yellow blankets and soft toys and tiny clothes and holy shit, why hadn’t anyone ever told Roy how fucking cute baby stuff was?

Jade was amused by him. “She’s going to be so spoiled, isn’t she?”

Roy glanced up from the canvas he was busy stenciling. “Maybe a little,” he said. “But you know...our childhoods kind of sucked. Oliver didn’t adopt me until I was eleven...before that was awful. I don’t want her to ever be that unhappy.”

“No, I guess not,” Jade said. “Have you brought up the horrible childhood in support meetings?”

“Never fucking stops,” Roy said. “Therapists love that shit...when they can just say, oh you were born to abusive addicts, no wonder you turned out this way. They love telling me it isn’t my fault and that I’m stronger than it.”

“Are they wrong?”

“It is my fault,” Roy said. “It doesn’t matter who my parents were, or how Oliver raised me, or how much pressure there was on me. I made that choice, and I kept making it. And now I’m making another choice.”

“Yeah,” Jade said. “Yeah, we are.”

*

Lian was born that summer, tiny, red-faced and screaming and Roy didn’t think anything had ever been more beautiful.

She was handed to him about half an hour after her birth, no longer screaming but so, so tiny.

“Hey, baby girl,” Roy said quietly. “I’m your dad.”

She didn’t really respond, of course, though Jade smiled at them. “He’s going to take such good care of you,” she said. “Give you the best of everything.”

“The very best,” Roy promised.

“And he can,” Jade said. “Your daddy...he can turn shit into gold.”

Roy glared. “Don’t swear in front of the baby!”

“She can’t understand a word I’m saying,” Jade said.

“Still,” Roy said. “Good habits and all that.”

Jade laughed and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, good habits,” she said.

“You can swear around her when she gets her first bow,” Roy said.

“So when she’s six?”

Roy shrugged. “Kids that age are mature enough to know when to use nice words, right?”

“I have no fucking clue.”

“Jade.”

“Right...I have no freaking clue.”

Roy sighed. “Look at us...we don’t know what we’re doing, do we?”

“No,” Jade said. “We don’t. But I’ll be da--darned if we don’t do the absolute best at it.”

*

If Roy was lost on Lian, Oliver was even worse.

“She’s beautiful, Roy,” Oliver said, taking Lian at once when Roy brought her to the mansion.

“I know,” Roy said. “Most beautiful baby in the world right there.” He leaned over and grinned at Lian. “And what do you think of Grandpa Ollie, huh?”

Oliver glared. “Don’t you dare call me grandpa. Wayne has enough ammo.”

“Ah, come on. He can’t make fun of you for this. And if he does, you’ll probably be able to get him back someday.”

“I seriously doubt it.”

Roy laughed and took Lian back. “Seriously...thank you.”

“I’m lost on that kid, Roy. You ever need anything for her, you call me.”

“I will.”

*

_Dear Dick,_

_I know you won’t forgive me, but my therapist says I should apologize to all the people I hurt when I was hurting. So that’s what I’m doing, even though I know you’ll delete this without reading._

_I’m sorry for disappointing you, and hurting you. I’m sorry for dragging Jason down with me when he was too vulnerable to fight. And I’m sorry for not listening to you a long time ago, when you thought you loved me._

_Jade and I have been clean for almost a year. We have a baby--her name is Lian and she’s the best baby ever. I’ve attached a picture, in case you want to see._

_We’re back in Star City. Ollie let me go work for him, and we’re doing good. Hope everything is okay back at Wayne Manor._

_I hope I’ll see you again._

_Roy._

*

Roy had almost forgotten he’d sent the email when the little green envelope arrived in the mail. He opened, it, breath shallow, and was confronted with Alfred’s precise hand.

_To the Harper family:_

_You are cordially invited to the Wayne Manor Winter Gala, to be held on the 20th of December at 7 o’clock. Please R.S.V.P at your earliest convenience._

_Wishing you all the best of the season._

Also in the envelope was another letter, in much more impatient writing.

_Roy,_

_I’m so glad to hear you’re doing better. I’m sorry for how I treated you--I knew you were sick, and I didn’t help. Please forgive me for abandoning you, just like I forgive you for everything that happened to Jason._

_Jason is doing a lot better, but things were rough for a while. I know he misses you, and I think you’re both at a point where you can support rather than enable each other._

_Lian looks precious. Please bring her to the Manor, Bruce will spoil her rotten._

_Looking forward to seeing you again._

_Dick._

Roy had to sit down, tears springing to his eyes. Dick forgave him. Dick wanted to see him again, wanted to meet his daughter, wanted him back in Jason’s life…

Jade came in with Lian. “You okay, baby?”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “We’re invited to Wayne Manor...it’s...they want us there.” He sounded disbelieving, even as he handed Jade the invite.

She stared for a moment. “What do you think, baby girl?” she asked Lian. “Want to go meet the rest of Daddy’s family?”

Roy laughed and cried at that. Family. The Harper Family.

Lian babbled and Jade grinned. “Better find her a pretty dress,” she said. “Ollie won’t want his granddaughter looking shabby in front of Mr. Wayne.”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “Can’t have that.”

*

Roy was nervous as he carried Lian up the drive to the Manor. He hadn’t seen Dick or Jason in over a year, and he wasn’t sure what to expect. Sure, Dick had said he’d forgiven him, but Roy was still uncertain.

If Jade had any nerves, she didn’t show them. She simply held onto Roy’s arm as they got to the door.

Alfred smiled at them. “Welcome back, Master Roy,” he said. “I’m gratified to see you so well.”

“Thank you,” Roy said.

Alfred waved them through and Roy took a deep breath as they headed for the ballroom.

He had to pause when they entered. It was so bright, so full, so beautiful. He glanced down at Lian, who was gazing at everything in babyish wonder. Jade, too, looked amazed and even frightened now. Roy tried to look reassuring as they walked down the stairs.

Dick met them almost at once. He stood in front of Roy for a long moment before he silently pulled him into a close hug.

And Roy collapsed into it, hugging Dick back with the arm not occupied with Lian, trying not to cry. “Dick…”

“It’s okay,” Dick said. “It’s all okay now.”

Roy nodded and pulled back. Dick looked to the baby. “This the little princess?”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “This is Lian...Lian, this is Uncle Dicky.”

Dick grinned and looked at Jade. “Hi...Dick Grayson-Wayne. Don’t think we’ve really met.”

“Not that I can remember,” Jade said. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Keeping an eye on this one?”

“More like he keeps an eye on me.” Jade was relaxing a bit. Roy took it as a good sign.

“Jason’s sulking at the back,” Dick said. “He’s better, but…”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “I’ll find him...we probably won’t stay too long, Lian gets cranky if she’s not in bed on time.”

“Understandable. I’m glad you made it anyway.”

“Thank you,” Roy said.

Dick smiled and moved off. Roy took a breath and went to find Jason.

He was, as said, sulking toward the back. He glanced up as Roy approached. “Hey,” Jason said.

“Hey,” Roy said.

There was an awkward silence before Jason sighed. “So...yeah.”

“This is Lian,” Roy said.

“Figured,” Jason said. “She’s beautiful, Roy.”

“Jay…”

“Look...it’s over. It’s...fine. I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Roy said. “I’m sorry.”

Jason shrugged. “Not your fault,” he said. “And...I missed you. A lot.”

“Me too.”

Jason peeled away from the wall and embraced him and Roy felt like things were finally right.

*

Roy wanted to say it was easy. And in many ways, it got there, at least superficially. Lian was a sweet baby, quiet and cuddly, and very devoted to her dad. Roy did wonder about that, but didn’t think too much about it.

“Such a daddy’s girl,” Jade commented one morning. Roy was bouncing Lian on his knee, singing a nonsense song.

“I guess,” Roy said. “Just nice to have something to do on Saturdays besides getting trashed.”

“Yeah,” Jade said. “I guess.” She bit her lip. “Would you mind terribly if I went out tonight?”

“Um...no?” Roy said. “But why?”

Jade shrugged. “Just...I need a break. You have forty hours a week at your job, I have the kid twenty-four/seven.”

“Yeah, of course,” Roy said. “Maybe next week we should go on a date.” He said it jokingly, but realized that was a mistake almost at once.

Jade rolled her eyes. “What kind of date would you take me on?”

“I don’t know,” Roy said. “Dinner, movie, all the things grown-ups do?”

“Grown-ups suck,” Jade said. “I’ll see you later.” With that, she turned and left the room.

Roy stared at Lian, who stared back with wide, curious eyes. “Your mommy’s in a weird mood,” Roy said.

Lian blew a spit bubble at him.

*

“Baby, we need to talk.”

Roy looked up from the daily battle to get Lian to eat her Cheerios instead of throwing them on the floor. “What’s wrong?”

Jade sighed. “I’ve been thinking,” she said. “About the last couple years.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Jade reached over and petted Lian’s hair gently.

“Ma!” Lian squealed, and Jade smiled a bit. At a year old, Lian was still the most adorable thing Roy had ever seen, even though she was starting to babble and crawl.

“I just…” Jade was clearly struggling. “The last two years playing house with you...they’ve been fun, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “I mean...hard, but...it’s been really good.”

“Yeah,” Jade said. “So why am I not happy?”

Roy looked at her. “I don’t know,” he said. “I mean…”

“Roy…” Jade took a deep breath. “I like you. A lot. And I love Lian. But...once we got clean...all we have in common is the kid.”

“...yeah,” Roy said. “I guess that’s true.”

“So…”

“...so.”

They were quiet for a moment before Jade sighed. “I’m trying to be mature about this,” she said.

“Me, too.”

“I can’t just...keep being your good little wife, you know? I want...I need more.”

“I know.”

Jade bit her lip. “Did you mean it? When you said you’d…”

“Every word.” Roy was forcing himself to stay calm. “If you want to go...go. I’m staying right here, and I’m going to keep taking care of Lian. We can negotiate custody, but…”

“No, you’re right,” Jade said. “You have the nice job and apartment and...and you love her so much. You’re stable in a way I never could be.”

“Will you want to see her?”

“Of course...she’s my baby.” Jade pressed a kiss to Lian’s forehead. Lian babbled a little. “Would you be okay if I just...visited sometimes?”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “I mean...we can be friends. For her sake.”

“Yeah,” Jade said. “And maybe once I’ve gotten myself back together, I can have her for a weekend now and then?”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “Do you need any money?”

“...I don’t want to ask, but yeah, I will. I mean, I’m not going to just...walk out the door right now.”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “You’ll need your own place...back in Gotham?”

“Probably...it’s home.”

“Right,” Roy said. “Well, um...just let me know and I’ll lend you rent.”

“Okay.” Jade smiled a bit. “Thank you...for understanding.”

Roy shrugged. “I guess...I always kind of knew we weren’t meant to last. And...I didn’t want to force you into anything, but...I’m really happy we have her.”

“Yeah,” Jade said. “Me, too.”

*

A week later, Jade was gone. Lian cried for three hours straight when she realized that Jade wasn’t coming back, and Roy…

Well, he could hold it together about as long as Lian kept shrieking.

Eventually, though, she wore herself out and was reduced to clinging to Roy’s neck. Roy held her close and patted her back.

“Looks like it’s just me and you, baby girl,” he said. “And I promise...I’m going to make everything as good as I can for you. I’ll sell my soul and both kidneys to make sure you stay happy.”

Lian just clung and Roy was having a lot of trouble keeping his own emotions in check. He shifted Lian to one arm and dug out his phone with the other. He scrolled through the contacts and hesitated a moment before hitting Oliver’s number.

“Yes?” Oliver said at once.

“Ollie…” Roy swallowed back tears. “...she’s gone.”

“...Jade?”

“Yeah...just...up and left us. She wanted to go back to Gotham, I knew she wasn’t cut out for being a mom, but I thought...I thought we might make something work.”

“Did she take Lian?”

“No...no, we agreed that...that Lian would stay with me.”

“I’ll be there in five minutes.”

The moment Oliver walked in the door, Roy stood up and rushed to him. Oliver just pulled Roy and Lian close to his chest and then the tears started for real.

“Roy...it’s going to be okay,” Oliver said, even though he had to know how empty those words were.

“It hurts...it hurts so much and it’s been hurting since she decided last week and...and I just want the pain to _stop_.”

“Roy, no. You’re doing so well...don’t let this lead you down a bad path. You got that little girl to take care of, you can’t…”

“I know!” Roy was trying not to shout but it came out anyway. Lian started wailing again. “Sorry...sorry...just...it’s so hard.”

Oliver let go and took Lian from Roy, making soothing little noises to her. “I mean it,” Oliver said. “I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”

Roy swallowed. “I mean...I’ll need someone to watch her…”

“There’s daycare available at the office. There is a small monthly fee, but I’ll take care of that, and you can always go see her during your lunch.”

“Thank you,” Roy said. “I…”

“It’s rough,” Oliver said. “But it’s manageable. And you won’t be alone, Roy...you have friends. People willing to help you, and Lian. You’ve done so well the last two years...and I’m so very, very proud of you.”

Roy was still crying, but he nodded. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you.”


	7. Chapter 7

THREE YEARS LATER

“Uncle Jay!”

Jason caught Lian as she launched herself at him from off her booster seat the moment he walked in the door. “Hey there, princess,” he said, giving Lian a kiss on the cheek. “How’s my favoritest girl in the whole wide world?”

Lian giggled, clinging to Jason’s neck. “Auntie Kara’s your favoritest.”

Kara laughed, coming in just behind Jason. “Nah,” she said. “I don’t have a patch on you.” She waved at Roy. “Bags upstairs?”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “Sorry about this, but I couldn’t reach Jade anywhere and...well, promotion and all. Means I have to actually go places.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Jason said. “Nothing we’d rather do than spoil your daughter.”

“My payback will be swift and complete,” Roy promised.

“I’m sure it will,” Jason said.

Roy nodded and pulled out a stack of papers. “Emergency numbers. I will want an update if anything, and I mean anything, goes wrong. List of allergens, detailed meal plan, and activity roster. Bedtime is at seven o’clock, no exceptions, and a nap in the afternoon. No sugar after six o’clock. If Jade shows up, she is allowed to have Lian if she provides a location and phone number. I will be back on Friday, probably late. Any questions?”

Jason looked at Lian. “Is your daddy always this neurotic?”

“Jason, please.”

“I’m kidding, Roy. We’ll be fine. Kara’s a responsible adult and I’m the fun uncle.”

Roy rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine.” He took Lian from Jason and kissed her cheek. “I’m gonna miss you, sweetheart.”

“Miss you too,” Lian said, giving Roy a very sloppy cheek kiss.

Roy hugged his little girl for a long moment before he set her down and picked up his bags. “Bye-bye.”

“Bye-bye, Daddy.” Lian clung to Jason’s legs as Roy headed out to meet the taxi.

It was three days. Three days away from Lian, the longest Roy had ever left. Sure, Lian was four now. She did well in her preschool group, and she spent the occasional weekend with Jade, but it was still going to be an adjustment.

Oliver met him at the airport. “Ready?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Roy said, checking his cell. No texts or calls, meaning there hadn’t been an emergency in the last ten minutes. “Just nervous about leaving Lian so long.”

“She’s been out of your care before.”

“For a night or two with her mom. Not three days with Jason and Kara.”

“They’ll be fine,” Oliver said. “Miss Danvers is a very respectable young lady. She’s good for Jason. And I know they have Dick on speed dial just in case they need backup.”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “Sorry, just…”

“I get it,” Oliver said. “And sorry to drag you with me on this business trip, but I need someone I trust to seal the deal. And you’ve done extremely well since I moved you to sales.”

“Thanks, Ollie,” Roy said. His phone buzzed after they passed security, showing a picture of Lian and Jason making lunch, both of them with peanut butter on their faces. Roy smiled and saved the picture. “Everything’s just...going well.”

“And that makes you nervous?”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “Nothing ever goes well for me. I tend to fuck it up before too long.”

“Roy, you’ve made amazing progress over the last five years. You’ve stayed clean, you’ve given Lian a good life, you’ve excelled at your job...if you fuck up now, I’ll know it’s because something’s horribly wrong, and I’m prepared to help you.”

Roy nodded. “I know,” he said. “I know...everything’s good.”

*

“And does Her Highness want cucumber sandwiches at Princess Tea?”

“What’s in a cumber sandwich?”

“Cucumbers. And cream cheese infused with a lot of herbs.”

Lian sucked on her fist. “Yes,” she finally said. “No crust.”

“Obviously,” Jason said. “Princesses can’t have a cucumber sandwich with the crust.”

Kara laughed as she set up the table. “Who knew you would know so much about Princess Teas?”

“I’ll have you know that I am the Wayne Manor Princess Tea Champion,” Jason said, starting to cut up the cucumbers. “And I have to play against Dick _and_ Steph.”

“You don’t play Princess Tea against people,” Lian said wisely. “You play _with_ people. That’s what Daddy says.”

“Ah, yes, well your daddy is a very smart man,” Jason said gravely. It only took him a few minutes to put together the sandwiches, though he made sure to do it in an appropriately serious fashion. “Now, Princess, I suggest you go to the boudoir and put on your finest ballgown while your diligent servants finish up here. Princess Kara and Princess Jason will be a few minutes late.”

“Wouldn’t it be Prince Jason?” Lian asked, hopping down off the counter.

“Boys can be princesses, too,” Kara said. “My cousin Clark was the prettiest princess at the Wayne Gala one year.”

“Thanks to you,” Jason added.

Kara mock-curtsied at him. Lian giggled and skipped off.

“You’re good with her,” Kara said as she poured tea in the pot.

Jason shrugged. “It’s instinct...I looked after most of the younger ones at some point. And Lian’s easy-going, you know?”

“Yeah…” Kara looked down. “I’ve kind of been thinking...I mean...you and me, we’re serious, right?”

“After two years, I would hope so.” Jason’s throat was suddenly very dry.

“Yeah,” Kara said. “And...I just wondered if you’d ever thought about...having one.”

Jason let out a long breath. “I have,” he said. “And...I used to think...no. My past...my...problems...they told me that I shouldn’t. But…”

“But?”

“Roy’s done it...Roy’s been great at it, and...he has a lot of the same problems I do. And if he can beat them and be one of the best dads I’ve ever seen...maybe I can too.”

“Yeah,” Kara said. “You can...I know you can.”

“Maybe…” Jason swallowed. “Maybe we can talk about it more when we’re finished here? See how we do with Lian...I mean, looking after a mostly functional four-year-old for three days is different from…”

“You’re right,” Kara said. “We’d better get our ballgowns on.”

“Yep.” Jason set the sandwich plate on the table and hurried upstairs. “Though just a warning--I borrowed mine from Diana so I will outshine you.”

“Diana? Why?”

“Hers are the only ones that fit,” Jason admitted. “At least, I think they are...Cass threatened to shiv me if I went anywhere near her closet.”

“Right,” Kara said. “Don’t spill cream cheese on it. Diana doesn’t need a shiv to hurt you.”

“I know,” Jason said. “She already told me.”

*

“‘...and they got into the carriage and drove away.’” Kara closed the book and set it down on the nightstand.

Lian gave a little sigh. “Did Princess Sara live happily ever after?” she asked sleepily.

“I think she did,” Kara said. “With the large family and the Indian Gentleman, how could she not?”

“You have a large family?” Lian asked.

“Very large,” Kara said.

“I want a large family,” Lian said. “I just got Daddy and Grandpa.”

“And your mommy,” Kara said carefully.

“Mommy don’t want me,” Lian said. “Daddy says she does, but she don’t come see me anymore.”

“I’m sure she’s just busy,” Kara said. “She does love you a lot. And so does your daddy. And so do we.” She leaned over and kissed Lian’s forehead. “Good night, little princess.”

“Good night, Aunty Kara.” Lian rolled over and snuggled down with her teddy bear. Kara smiled and turned off the main light, leaving the little night light shining as she went downstairs.

Jason was just finishing putting away the dishes from dinner, humming slightly. Kara walked over and wrapped her arms around him from behind. “Hey,” she said.

“Hey.” Jason turned around to hug her properly. “What’s up?”

“I hate lying to kids,” Kara said.

“Lying?”

“Lian thinks that Jade doesn’t love her...I don’t know how to soften that.”

“Jade does love Lian,” Jason said. “I mean...I know you only met her once, but...Jade isn’t a bad person. She’s like Roy...she just made a lot of bad decisions. She just…”

“Couldn’t follow them up with good ones?”

“Wasn’t cut out for this.” Jason sighed. “Look...we all want what’s best for Lian. And Jade...Jade understood she wasn’t best for Lian. She wasn’t the best thing for anyone, really.”

“Didn’t you set her and Roy up?”

“I take full responsibility for their meeting, yes. Everything that happened after was their choice...well...mostly. Drugs were involved.”

“I know, Jason. It’s just...I don’t want Lian to be hurt. Especially by the people who are supposed to take care of her.”

“She won’t be,” Jason said. “Whatever happens with Jade, she has Roy. And Oliver. And us, all of us...that’s so many people who love her and won’t let anything bad…”

There was a sudden bang and the front window exploded. Jason moved on instinct, shoving Kara behind him as several armed men crashed through the window. Jason moved toward them, his military training kicking in as he lunged to disarm one. He wrenched the gun from the invader’s hand just before the second one clocked him over the head with his own gun.

Jason fell and Kara screamed. One of the other men grabbed her and dragged her to a corner. Kara struggled against him, and got a few hits in before one of the others hit her over the head, knocking her senseless. While she was still reeling, they dragged her to a chair and tied her to it. A moment later, she heard another chair scrape over the linoleum and sensed they were tying Jason up as well. She blinked as two of the men went upstairs and tried to scream, but couldn’t get enough breath.

“Please,” Kara gasped. “What do you want?”

“So sorry, my dear.” Kara had to blink to identify who was speaking, but she finally spotted a very small man in a bowler hat among the hulking behemoths. “But I’m here to collect on a debt.”

“A debt?” Kara struggled against the ropes and got a fist to the eye for her trouble. “Just...let me make a call! I can get you however much you want!”

“It’s not money I’m after,” the little man said. “Our young Mr. Harper promised me something much more valuable.”

“If it’s drugs, he’s clean!” Kara tried to blink back the tears, but they were too fast. “There’s nothing here!”

“It’s not drugs, either.” The little man turned as the men came downstairs. One of them was holding Lian, who looked frightened beyond screaming. “The first born...the only born, as I understand.”

“Leave her alone!” Kara started struggling again, hoping she could at least wake Jason. “Please, leave her!”

“She’s the payment.”

Lian did start screaming then. “Kara!”

“NO!” Kara pulled at the ropes with all her might, but couldn’t break free as the men started leaving.

The little man tipped his hat at her. “Apologies for the window. I’ll send a check to the landlord.” And with that, he was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

Roy rolled over and grabbed the phone. “Hello?” he groaned.

“Roy?” Kara sounded hysterical and Roy sat up at once.

“Kara? What’s wrong?”

“There was a break-in.” She was crying, Roy knew at once.

“A break-in?” Roy was out of bed at once, going for his pants. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“Jason’s hurt,” she said. “Concussion...Roy...they took Lian.”

Roy felt his heart drop and his breath leave him. He stumbled back and fell onto the bed. “What?” he gasped.

“They took Lian...the police are here, but…”

“I’ll be there in three hours.” Roy hung up the phone and took a moment, trying to breath. His chest was tight, like someone was squeezing it. His heart had started again, beating far too fast, too loud, and his hands were shaking.

“Roy?” Oliver came in from the second room in the hotel suite. “Roy, what’s going on?”

“I need to go,” Roy said, his voice sounding distant and unnatural.

“What? Why?”

“They...someone broke in. Lian’s gone.” Roy tried to stand and immediately fell again. “She’s...oh God, Ollie, she’s gone…”

Oliver stared for a moment before his face went still and serious. “I’ll come with you,” he said. “I can have a plane ready to go in ten minutes.”

“But...what about the meetings?” Roy was shaking more.

“Roy, my business will survive. Lian is the most important thing in the world.”

Roy nodded, slowly. He felt like he was moving under water. “Right...right…” He stood up and dressed, quick and methodical as Oliver went to the other room to make a call.

Ten minutes later, Roy blinked and realized Oliver was herding him through the regional airfield. He glanced around, blinking hard. “Ollie?”

“We’re going home, Roy,” Oliver said gently. “We’re going home and we’re going to get Lian back.”

“Ollie, I need…” Roy looked down at his trembling hands. “I can’t...where…”

“Roy, with me.” Oliver got Roy through the gates and onto the charter plane. “It’s going to be okay.”

“No,” Roy said. “No, it’s not okay!” His breath was fast now, erratic. “My little girl is missing, and I’m here on a stupid business trip!”

“Which is ended,” Oliver said, his voice calm. “We’re going back, and I won’t ask you to leave her ever again.”

“How are you so calm?!” Roy shouted.

“I’m not,” Oliver said. “I’m just keeping my head because you need it!” Oliver’s eyes narrowed. “Scream at me all you want and get it out of your system, because you’re not going to lash out at Kara like this.”

Roy took a breath. “I won’t…” He squeezed his eyes shut to fight back the tears. “I’m sorry...I just...I need…” He dove for his bag, suddenly frantic. “I need…”

“Roy!” Oliver caught Roy’s arm and dragged him back into the seat. “There’s nothing in there...I thoroughly cleaned all of your bags out years ago. The most you’ll ever find is Dramamine, and that’s for Lian.”

Roy choked back a sob. “I need something,” he said. “Anything...do they have alcohol on this flight?”

“No, because you’re an alcoholic and I specified that there would be none when I ordered this plane. And you don’t need anything but to get home.”

“Ollie…”

“You’re doing well, Roy.” Oliver reached over and took Roy’s hands. “Focus on me. We will get Lian back. She’s going to be safe and okay, I promise.”

Roy nodded. “Okay...okay.” He fell back in his seat, tears falling down his cheeks faster. “Just...don’t let her get hurt, Ollie. Please don’t let my baby girl get hurt.”

“Never. If anyone does harm her, I still have my bow...and I’m still an excellent shot.”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “Just…” He sat up. “Bow.”

“What?”

“Oliver...I know who took her.”

*

Dick met them at the airport, looking exhausted. Roy fell into his arms at once, clinging to him and finally letting himself fully cry.

“I’m so sorry,” Dick whispered. “I’m so sorry, Roy…”

“Not your fault,” Roy said. He managed to pull away. “How’s Jason?”

“Concussed, but responsive. Bruce is taking care of him.”

“And Kara?”

“Shaken, a few bruises, but otherwise unharmed...police are waiting at the house with her.”

Roy nodded. “Okay...okay.”

Dick glanced at Oliver. “He’s not okay, is he?”

“No,” Oliver said. “But best get a statement to the police before he completely breaks down.”

“I’m still here!” Roy protested.

“We know.” Dick guided Roy to the waiting car. “Come on.”

The building was crawling with police when Dick pulled up. Roy was out of the car at once. “Officer!”

One of the detectives came over. “And you are?”

“Roy Harper. I live here and my daughter is the one taken.”

“Ah, yes.” The detective looked over her notebook. “I’m Detective Artemis Crock. The case file says you’re the primary caretaker?”

“Yes.”

“And the mother is…?”

“She has partial custody.”

“You know that most kidnappings are carried out by the non-custodial parent…”

“Yes, I know. But she didn’t...at least, I’m pretty sure, I don’t try to keep her from Lian.”

“All right, Mr. Harper...can you think of anyone else who might want Lian?”

“Yes...it’s...a bit of a long story.”

Detective Crock raised her eyebrows. “I have time.”

Roy took a deep breath and began.

When he was finished, Detective Crock sighed. “And in all your interactions with this person, you never thought to ask what his name was?”

“It didn’t seem important,” Roy said. “I mean...I was high most of the times we met and the last time, I was too grateful to ask or take the threat seriously...I didn’t even know Jade was pregnant when he said it.”

“I see...well, we’ll go check this antiques shop and see if we have anything there. An Amber Alert has been sent out, and we’ll be in contact.”

“Thank you.” Roy swallowed. “Is there anything else we can do?”

Detective Crock handed him her card. “If you think of anything else, please call us...I’m afraid that this building is a crime scene, so…”

“I’ve got places to go,” Roy said. “Thank you.”

Detective Crock nodded and moved off. Roy sighed and headed back toward the car.

Just as he reached it, though, a motorcycle pulled up and Jade stumbled off, pulling her helmet away. “Roy!”

“Jade!” Roy rushed to her as she threw herself into his chest, sobbing. “Jade, baby, I’m so sorry...who told you?”

“Jason called me as soon as he was allowed a phone...about eight times. Roy, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here…”

“Hey...it’s okay.” Roy petted Jade’s hair awkwardly. “I mean...I know you haven’t answered your phone in two weeks, but…”

“Sorry,” Jade said. “I was...busy.”

“With what?” Roy pulled away. “What had you so busy that you couldn’t see Lian?!”

“Roy!” Dick jogged over. “Roy, now isn’t the time.”

“When is the time, then?” Roy glared at Jade. “My baby girl is missing!”

Dick sighed. “Look...let me take you both home. Oliver said we can all wait at the mansion for news...and you two can work out your differences privately.”

“I’m not…”

“Roy!”

“Baby.” Jade’s voice was barely a whisper. “I’m sorry.” She swallowed. “I should go...wait back in Gotham.”

“Jade,” Dick said. “Just get in the car?”

“Dick…”

“Shut up, Roy. You’re not the only person hurting right now.”

“Dick!”

“Car. Now.”

Roy sighed and got in the car. After a moment, Jade followed.

*

The mansion was quiet, everyone too anxious for news to talk much. Roy fidgeted, sipping at the coffee Dick had made in an attempt to keep everyone together.

“I’m going back to college,” Jade said after an hour. “If you’re really so anxious to know why I’ve been busy.”

“Oh,” Roy said. “Good.”

“I wanted to do better,” Jade said. “Wanted to be a good mom. Now…”

“Jade…”

“I know, baby. It’s not your fault.”

“It is my fault,” Roy said. “All of it’s my fault.”

“Roy, no. Whatever you think you did, this isn’t on you. You did everything for Lian...you gave everything you could.”

“It still wasn’t enough.”

“It is...we’re going to get her back, even if I have to kill someone to do it.”

“Jade…”

“I mean it. I won’t let anyone hurt her, ever.”

“I know.”

They fell silent, waiting. Another hour later, Oliver came into the kitchen.

“You should both sleep,” he said. “There are rooms upstairs.”

“Thank you,” Jade said. She stood up. “Roy…”

“Good night, Jade.”

She nodded and left the kitchen. Roy didn’t move, just staring into the distance.

“Roy?” Oliver sat down next to him.

“How did I fuck up this bad?” Roy muttered, more to himself.

“I don’t know,” Oliver said. “I keep asking myself the same question.”

“You did your best for me.”

“Did I?” Oliver sighed, picking up Jade’s abandoned, half-full coffee cup. “Roy...I see you with Lian. I see how she looks at you...like you hang the moon and stars, like you’re going to defeat every monster that comes out of her closet...and I remember when you looked at me like that. When I was a good dad to you. And then I remember when you stopped looking at me that way.”

“When I realized you were human?”

“When I forgot you are too.” Oliver drained the coffee cup and got up to pour more. “I hate to admit this, but...I got so wrapped up in seeing you succeed...I forgot how young you were. I put too much pressure on you...made you feel like you weren’t worthy if you weren’t perfect. I never should have…”

“Ollie,” Roy said. “It’s over...yeah, you were...it was rough. But you were trying to give me a good life.”

“I just didn’t know the best way to do it and I wrecked it all.”

“We both fucked up.”

“You were seventeen...maybe not a child, but still not grown up. I should have remembered that teenagers are stupid.”

“Most of them aren’t that stupid.”

“Maybe not, but…”

“Yeah.”

They fell silent, but it was a more comfortable silence than they’d had in years, sipping at the coffee with no more left to say.

Just as Roy was considering going to bed, though, his phone buzzed to life, flashing “unknown number.”. Roy dove for it at once. “Hello?”

“Ah, Mr. Harper. So glad you answered.”

Roy’s shoulders tightened at once. “Where is she?” he demanded.

“Now, now, I assure you that your little darling is perfectly safe and unharmed. After all, I don’t want to damage anything.”

Roy growled. “What do you want?” he asked. “I’ll give you anything, just give my baby back!”

“I don’t want anything.” There was a silvery laugh from the other end of the line. “A deal’s a deal, after all. But I do seem to have a lot more people breathing down my neck than I’d like.”

“You kidnapped a four-year-old!”

“Not kidnapped...collected. It’s what I do, after all. But as always, I’m willing to trade.”

“So what do you want?!”

“I’ll make you a deal, Mr. Harper...if you can guess my name within the next three days, I’ll give your precious baby back. If you fail, I keep her.”

Roy blinked. “So...I just need to learn your name?”

“That’s what I said...after all, my name would lead you right to me.”

“First or last name?”

“Last name...I doubt the first would be of any interest to you.” There was a chiming noise in the distance. “That’s midnight...three days, Mr. Harper.” The phone disconnected.

Roy put his phone down in a daze. “Get Jade and Dick,” he said, his voice distant again.

“Who was that?” Oliver asked.

“The kidnapper,” Roy said. “He made a deal with me...and I’m going to need help.”

*

“So I have good news and bad news,” Dick said.

“Start with the bad news,” Roy said.

“Bad news is that Fifth Dimension Antiques doesn’t seem to exist,” Dick said. “The shop’s empty and has been for a long time. And the current owner of the building just bought it last year and has no record of the previous tenants.”

“Of course not,” Roy muttered. “That would be too easy...what’s the good news?”

“The good news is that Alfred saves the Gotham phone directories,” Dick said. “And I have three very good investigative journalists to help track this bastard.”

“Great,” Roy said, taking the books from Dick. “Police traced the phone call back to a public phone booth, so no luck there...I didn’t even know those still existed.”

“Gotham’s always about thirty years behind modern technology,” Jade said, taking a book from the stack.

“No kidding,” Roy said. “I don’t think Star City even puts out a phone directory anymore.” He sat down. “So...what do we do next?”

“Think strategically,” Oliver said, taking a book for himself. “He said that his last name will lead us right to him, right? Which means it’s sufficiently weird enough that you couldn’t easily guess it and that it’s fairly unusual. We know he lived in or near Gotham in the last few years, so there’s a chance he’s listed in one of these directories. We can start by highlighting all the names that only have one or two people listed.”

“He may not have a listing,” Jade said. “Some people opt out, or don’t have landlines anymore.”

“True, but it’s a start,” Oliver said. “It’s something we can do while Detective Crock and the journalists do their part.”

Roy sighed. “More coffee?” he asked.

“I’ll get it going,” Dick said. He tossed them a pack of highlighters. “Here you go.”

Roy picked up a highlighter and got to work.

*

The clock had just struck eleven at night when Roy’s phone buzzed again. He answered, hands shaking.

“Good evening, Mr. Harper.”

“Good evening, Mr. Alkema.”

There was laughter. “Not even close.”

“Angert?”

“No.”

“Arcidiacono?”

“Not at all.”

“Smith?”

“Now you’re just teasing me.”

“It was worth a shot...Ashkar?”

“No.”

Roy read out every name he’d highlighted in his book, only to be met with a no after every one. When he had finished, there was only more laughter.

“I’ll let you try again tomorrow. Until then, I’m sure our little Lian will be perfectly happy.”

“Please!” Roy begged, but the call had already cut off.

Jade squeezed Roy’s arm, her eyes sunken. “We’ll just have to look more,” she said, though her voice was hopeless.

“Yeah,” Roy said. “Oliver, think you can pay for an ad to run in tomorrow’s Gazette?”

“Of course,” Oliver said. He picked up his phone and left the room to call it in.

Jade moved over and curled up next to Roy, shaking. Roy pulled her into his arms, staring into the distance.


	9. Chapter 9

Kara arrived early the next morning, Jason just behind her. He was walking slowly but otherwise seemed to be okay as he hugged Roy tight.

“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I should have…”

“You did what you could,” Roy said. “I’m sorry about the concussion.”

Jason shrugged. “I’ve had worse,” he said. “Just regret I didn’t take a few more of the bastards down with me.”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “Any ideas?” he asked.

“I’ve called in every favor I’ve got,” Jason promised. “Everyone I know is searching Gotham for her, and they’re all texting me every weird name they hear.”

“The Gazette set up a hotline for you,” Kara added. “Ringing off the hook last I checked in, though not many new ones. Clark will send a list over when they close for the night.”

“Thank you,” Roy said. “I know it’s a longshot, but…”

“We’ll do anything for her,” Jason said. “And you. You know that.”

“I know,” Roy said. “It’s just...a lot.”

“Yeah,” Jason said. “It is.”

*

Roy was ready at eleven when the phone buzzed. He answered with shaking hands and took the lists Jason and Kara had compiled for him.

“I saw your ad in the Gazette. Bold move, Mr. Harper.”

“You never said I couldn’t ask for help,” Roy said.

“No, I suppose I didn’t. So let’s see if it was worth spending all of Daddy’s money.”

Roy grit his teeth. “Komara?”

“No.”

“Hauschildt?”

“No.”

“Phimmasone?”

“My, my, some interesting choices...but no.”

Roy read out every name he had, and received the same answer each time.

“One more day, Mr. Harper.” There was more silvery laughter and it was all Roy could do not to smash his phone. “One more day before I keep her.” The line disconnected.

Roy had barely a moment of calm before he threw his phone across the room, where it shattered on the other wall. Jade flinched. “Roy!”

“Sorry,” he said. “Sorry, just…”

“No...I know,” she said. “I feel the same way.” She sighed. “How did we go so wrong?”

“I don’t know,” Roy said. “Maybe...maybe it’d be better if we never…”

“Maybe,” Jade said. “Maybe we’d both be better off if we’d never met. But...but I’m so glad that...that we had her. Even if it was only for a little while.”

“It wasn’t enough,” Roy said. “She’s just...she’s the best, Jade. She’s everything...she...I know it’s selfish, but she saved me. Having Lian...that made me actually be better. And it’s not fair to expect a kid to save me from myself, but…”

“I get it,” Jade said. “She gave you something to live for...gave us both a reason to be better.”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “Without her...what do I have to live for?”

Jade bit her lip. “I could...make a call.”

Roy blinked. He could feel it, the need, the temptation. His mouth was dry and his hands were shaking, heart pounding. It would just take one call...a bit of money...and all the pain would stop. All his worry would just...go away.

“If...if tomorrow doesn’t...if we don’t get her back…”

“We’re both going to need help.”

“Yeah.”

“Might make it easier to not…”

“Maybe…”

“Roy?” Oliver came into the room, startling them. “You finished?”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “No dice.”

Oliver sighed. “Get some sleep,” he said. “I’ve got the Bludhaven and Star City phone books in...we can go through those tomorrow.”

“Right,” Roy said. He pulled away from Jade and headed for bed.

*

The next day was tense and silent. Roy, Jade and Oliver stayed in the kitchen all day, highlighting their phone books and drinking enough coffee to wire an elephant.

Roy looked at every name, shining out in orange ink and seeming to mock him. A name. All he needed was one name and he’d have Lian back…

And then he’d have to face the fact that he’d lost her to begin with. He’d have to handle whatever injuries and trauma she had, he’d have to make up for leaving her, he’d need to think that maybe…

Roy thought he was a good dad. He gave Lian anything she needed, and most of what she wanted within reason. He made sure she got along with the other kids at preschool, and that she was polite to adults. He kept her fed and dressed and clean and happy.

And suddenly, it didn’t feel like enough. Suddenly, the thing Roy thought he was good at was gone, and there was a very good chance he wouldn’t get it back.

“This is pointless,” Roy muttered around three. “Even if we do get it, who’s the say he’ll keep his word and give Lian back? How do we even know she’s still...that she’s not…”

“Don’t think like that, Roy,” Jade said, her voice frantic. “She’s fine, she has to be fine! We gotta get her back!”

“Sorry,” Roy said. “It’s just...three days, and we haven’t found the right name, no one knows where to look...I don’t know what to do.”

“We’re doing the only thing we can,” Oliver said. “We’re playing the game...we’re trying to save her. So just...hang in there. Maybe take a break...go for a walk, something.”

Roy looked down at the phone book he was working on. “Yeah,” he said. “I think...that’s a good idea.” He got up and grabbed his jacket. “I’m going to the 7-11, you want anything?”

Oliver waved him off.

“Cigarettes for me,” Jade said, going back to work.

“You should quit,” Oliver said.

“You should butt out,” Jade snapped back.

Roy left them to their bickering and went out, the early spring sun seeming to mock his bad mood as he headed down the street.

He’d just turned the corner when a car pulled up and Detective Crock stepped out. “Harper?” she called.

Roy nodded. “Detective.”

“I have news.”

Roy stopped. “News?”

“Yes.” Crock fell into step beside him. “We had a witness come in today. He spotted your kidnapper in a phone booth last night, presumably when he called to talk to you.”

“Was Lian with him?”

“No, but the witness did tell us that the man went into a bar right after he hung up the call. I went in and questioned everyone there, and as luck would have it, they had his credit card information.”

“So...you have a name?” Roy’s heart sped up.

“Yes...but the address on the card is abandoned and we haven’t found out where he is yet. We’re going to need to catch him to get Lian back.”

Roy nodded. “What should I do?”

Crock handed him a piece of paper. “Here’s the name we got off the card...I don’t know how to pronounce it, so you’ll need to do your best. But I can’t have you end things too quickly. So here’s what we’re going to do. He’s going to call you tonight, probably from a different phone than before, he’s been changing his location. We’re going to stake out every public phone in Gotham, with a trace on your phone just in case he uses a private one. We’re also going to give you a wire. What I need you to do is keep him talking until I give the signal, at which point you can say his name and we’ll be able to arrest him.”

Roy nodded. “Okay,” he said. “Just...one problem.”

“What’s that?”

“I broke my phone last night...he won’t be able to call me.”

“All right,” Crock said. “But there is a hotline at the Gazette...we can put out an announcement to tell him to call there.”

“Okay,” Roy said. “We’ll be there.”

“Good.” Crock gave him a small smile. “Don’t worry...this time tomorrow, your little girl will be back with you, safe and sound.”

“I hope so,” Roy said. “Thank you.”

*

“Are you sure you can say that, Roy?” Jade was looking at the paper Crock had given him, frowning. “It doesn’t even have any vowels!”

“Y is technically a vowel,” Roy said. He sat down in the office chair at the Gazette and spun around a few times. “And if I say it wrong, I’ll just spell it out. Basides, I get at least a few other guesses before the police get to him.”

“Yeah,” Jade said. She sat down in the second chair, shaking. “What if…?”

“I know,” Roy said. “But it’s the best plan we’ve got.”

Jade nodded.

The wire in Roy’s ear beeped. “We’re set,” Crock said. “I have officers staking out every public phone booth in Gotham. Moment we have a match, we’ll all converge. I’ll tell you when.”

“Got it,” Roy said.

It was a tense twenty minutes before the phone rang. Roy took a deep breath and picked up.

“Temper, Mr. Harper,” the voice said. “Breaking your own phone.”

“Yeah, well, you’re pissing me off,” Roy said. “And when I find you, it will be your skull.”

“Threatening me? I’m sure your hotline phone is recorded.”

“It isn’t.”

“Well, then...let’s get down to business. Do you have any new guesses?”

“Arganbright.”

“Wrong.”

“Yazdi.”

“Wrong.”

“Bryngelson.”

“Wrong, wrong, so wrong.”

“Hanline.”

“No.”

“Gratzer.”

“No...you really should just give up, Mr. Harper. It will be so much easier...no more responsibility. No more reason to resist. You can just go back to who you really are...a deluded, good-for-nothing junkie. Not fit or ready to be a father...not worth anything but the shallow unmarked grave you’ll be buried in.”

Roy’s hands were shaking, his breath tight. The tears were starting again, hard and fast, falling on the desk. “I…”

The wire cracked to life in his ear. “Harper, we’ve got him. End it.”

Roy blinked and sat up. “No,” he said. “I’m not that person anymore. I’m better than that. Maybe I’m not the best dad ever...but I’ll be the best damn father I can be.” He looked at Jade and took her hand, squeezing it tight. “So give me my daughter, Mr. Mxyzptlk.”

There was a shout of frustration through the phone, followed by a lot more shouting and crashing. Roy didn’t hang up the phone, listening to the police and Mr. Mxyzptlk fighting. Jade stared at Roy with wide eyes, waiting, her breath short. Roy didn’t move, just squeezed her hand until the phone line fell quiet again.

“Harper.” Crock had clearly picked up the phone. “We’re done here...he’s given up Lian’s location, CPS will be picking her up.”

Roy let out the breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding. “Is she…?”

“He says she’s unharmed...CPS will be taking her into protective custody for tonight, but if she’s not hurt, they’ll be bringing her back and interviewing you tomorrow morning.”

“Okay,” Roy said. “Okay...we’ll be at the Queen mansion.”

“Copy that, Harper.” Crock hung up the phone. Roy pressed the end call button, fingers trembling.

“They’re bringing her home,” he said, his voice distant. “Jade...she’s going to be okay.”

Jade fell on him, sobbing, and Roy hugged her close. “Baby…”

“We’re okay,” she said. “We’re all okay.”

“Yeah,” Roy said. “We are.” He blinked back tears of his own. “Do you think I did pronounce that right?”

“Who the fuck cares?” Jade asked. “From now on, we just call him Mr. McFucker.”

“Jade.”

“Hm?”

“Language.”

*

The moment the doorbell rang, Roy dashed to answer it. He was rewarded for his sprint across the waxed floor by Lian launching herself on him the moment the door opened, crying hysterically.

Roy hugged his baby girl tighter than ever and kissed her cheek. “Hey, sweetie,” he said softly.

“Daddy!” Lian wailed. “There was a bad man and he took me away and he was mean and I missed you!”

Roy hugged her tighter. “I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry,” he muttered, running his hand over her hair. “I’m never leaving again.”

Lian sniffled. “Promise?”

“Pinky promise,” Roy said. He looked up at the social worker in the doorway. “Sorry...please, come in.”

“Thank you.” The social worker followed Roy into the kitchen. “Sorry to do this, Mr. Harper, but protocol says I have to ask a few questions before I leave.”

“Of course,” Roy said. “Coffee?”

“No thank you.” The social worker sat down at the table. “Is Ms. Nguyen present?”

“Yeah,” Roy said. He walked to the doorway, still holding Lian. “JADE!”

She came downstairs at once, all a-flutter. “Lian!” she cried as soon as she saw her.

“Mommy!” Lian held out her arms and Jade took her, hugging her as tight as Roy did. “Mommy, I missed you.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Jade kissed Lian several times. “I’m sorry...I should’ve…”

“Ms. Nguyen, I suggest you sit down,” the social worker said. “I just have a few questions.”

“Of course, of course.” Jade sat down, Lian on her lap. Roy sat next to them, very close. “Please...we’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

The social worker nodded and began.

*

Several hours later, the social worker was gone and it was clear Lian wasn’t hurt so much as scared. Roy felt a little bit bad as he wrangled her and Jade into a small den and turned on a movie, but he was too exhausted to try and do much else. Lian seemed perfectly content to cuddle up with her parents, clinging to Roy’s neck with one tiny hand and holding Jade’s with the other.

It was just as well. Neither of them was willing to let go of her either.

Night was coming when Lian stirred sleepily. “No one’s taking me, are they?”

“No,” Jade said. “No one will take you away ever again.”

“Good.” Lian snuggled down more. “I like being here best.”

Roy kissed the top of her head. “I like you here best, too.”

“Are Uncle Jason and Aunt Kara gonna come back tomorrow?”

“I can ask them,” Roy said.

“I want them to come. And play Princess Tea. Uncle Jason’s real good at Princess Tea.”

“I’m sure he is,” Jade said.

“Are you gonna stay, Mommy?”

Jade looked over at Roy, a slight frown on her face. Roy looked back, keeping his face neutral.

“Not forever,” Jade finally said. “But it’s not because I don’t love you, Lian. I do, more than anything.”

“So why’d you go away?”

Jade sighed. “Sometimes,” she said carefully. “There are things you have to do. And it means you don’t get to do everything you want...and sometimes, there are...things that just don’t make you happy anymore.”

“Don’t we make you happy?”

Jade kissed Lian’s cheek. “You make me happy, sweetheart. So much happier than I’ve ever been. But…”

“But Mommy doesn’t like Star City,” Roy said. “And I don’t make her happy.”

“But mommies and daddies are supposed to be in love!”

Roy sighed. “Not always,” he said. “Sometimes...people think they’re in love but then find out they aren’t. Or they’re in love for a little while and then aren’t anymore. Mommy and I care about each other, and we love you very much, but...we’re not in love with each other. Do you understand?”

Lian pouted a bit. “I guess,” she said. “I just want Mommy to stay.”

“I’ll stay for a little while,” Jade said. “Until we’re sure you’re safe. And...and I promise I won’t go away for so long anymore. I’ll call you every night if you want me to. But I can’t stay forever.”

Lian nodded. “Okay,” she said.

Roy kissed her forehead. “We’ll do anything we can to make you happy,” he said. “Until then, I think it’s time for bed.”

“Don’t wanna be by myself,” Lian said.

“Then we’ll stay,” Roy said. He stood up and lifted Lian up. “Both of us.”

It took a bit of finagling to get Lian ready for bed, but soon enough she was nestled between Roy and Jade, sound asleep.

Roy looked over at Jade when he was sure Lian was out. “I...I hope you don’t feel obligated or…”

“I don’t,” Jade said. “I wish...I wish I could be happy with you. But it’s not fair on any of us for me to force myself to love you.”

“No,” Roy agreed. “It isn’t.”

Jade nodded. “Sorry about...offering...thinking we should go back…”

“We were both thinking about it,” Roy said. “But...we survived. We got through it sober...and whatever he said about me…”

“You were right,” Jade said. “You aren’t that person anymore. You’re so much better than that...so much better than I ever could have hoped for.” She half-smiled at him. “In another lifetime, I think we would have been in love. In this one...I’m just glad my baby girl has such a good dad, and that I have such a good friend.”

Roy half-smiled back. “Yeah,” he said. “And I’m really glad she has such a great mom.”

Jade reached across Lian and took his hand. “Good night, Roy.”

“Good night.”


End file.
